breathe easy

We tried it out, and it's obvious that saving is not something u could practise just like that, so we should just drop it. It doesn't really have to be both saving together, this is really up to personal perference. Afterall, those are really your hard earn $$, i don't feel like restricting u from buying this and then anymore.

yesh..i admit i spent like nobody business in the past, i realized it now and i don't want myself to do it again and that's why i start saving up myself now. Especially after a heart attack, i just realized how impt the $$ means to us now, let say, (choy) if anyone or me got any health problem, it's a very big sum of $$ that we need to pay for medical, i personally would rather save those $$ fro emergency use than to spend it on some "not must" have things. (personal opinion)

i wouldn't say that sentence again if u don't like it. Maybe u weren't angry with me, u are just angry that u couldn't get the things u want and i am just assuming it myself. okie then go get angry with the slippers, get angry with the shoes then. by showing that kind of attitude towards me, by showing me that face, it's as good as getting angry with me. No matter what u really were angry with, by doing all that, it already made no difference, u were just making me felt as i am being hated. You might not know, but u know how i felt deep inside my heart while i was walking beside you, while i was standing beside you, while i was sitting beside you? it's pain and sour deep in there..i wanted to help, i wanted to make u happy, but i knew i couldn't do anything to make u happier. You had left me no choice and made me felt useless.

You might then ask when would i felt that way, i am just thinking too much myself. it's because i love ya more than i myself could imagine, every facial reaction of yours get my attention, i just can't stop caring about you, i can't just leave u alone when u aren't happy. Don't always use the tire word as an excuse, it's only part of the cause, it's very obvious that everything only started when the sales person said "everything is on display" . At the moment when your face turned black and start sort of ignoring me, u know how guilty i felt? i wanted to do anything just to get u the slipper, even if i were to give up my life for it, why? i just wanted to see the little smile on your face.

You are not someone who is hard to get along with, and i know u tried your very best to go along with me and change for the better. But sometimes some bad actions, behaviour would just overwrite watever efforts u put in. There were many times i walked off your lift with tears, i didn't know what i do to deserve that kind of treatment. But i just told myself one thing while my tears were running down. I love ya more than anything else, so i would just suck it up even i felt hurt for the unintended actions that hurt me.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005